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Blog: The News Hangover

The News Hangover: Ouch, head hurts

By: Michael McBain

President Obama declared swine flu as a national emergency Friday night.  This means one thing: Panic!  Buy the plastic suits and dispose of all pork products; better yet, send them all to me.  Seriously though, about 1,000 have died already so be sure to monitor your health and wash your hands, just don’t go overboard.     

Sarah Palin will be on Oprah!  I don’t know about you but I’m totally DVR’ing this (I don’t have DVR but can you feel my excitement).  The highly anticipated interview

airs Nov. 16 discussing Palin’s book, which for some reason I don’t see making Oprah’s book club…  Anyway, I’m sure this will be YouTube gold for 2009.  

It’s a bird; it’s a plane; it’s Pay Czar Kenneth Feinberg.  Feinberg will cut compensation in half for 175 employees of the firms that received government aid.  Salaries are expected to drop 90%, but oops, this may cause some problems.  New York Gov. David Patterson said, “That probably cost New York $1 billion.”  Hey, great thinking; that’s how to create a situation, soak the benefactors, and put the burden on everyone else.

The media (NBC, CBS, ABC, and CNN) banned together this past week as the White House tried to prevent Fox News from joining the other four media outlets for an interview with Kenneth Feinberg.  Thanks to backing from the other networks, Fox News was admitted.  This failed cold shoulder probably came from the new think tank, 10-year-olds 4 Democrazy.   

Apple released their redesigned Mac computers hoping to capitalize on the upcoming holiday season.  The iMac will feature a touch based mouse (no buttons or scroll ball), edge-to-edge glass, along with other features I will never be able to enjoy for $1,199.  With upgrades to MacBook laptops and Mac minis as well, let the battle between Mac and PC rage on.

 Internet news 

According to a UCLA study, the internet is altering and enhancing our brain functions.  There are a lot of really big words in the article so just take my word for it.  Right now I am altering your brain!

Google is partnering with music labels to simplify finding, pirating sampling and buying music.  The music industry hopes searches for streaming music from sources like iLike and LaLa amplified by Google will help increase sales.

Cincinnati Bengals receiver, Chad Ochocinco, is launching a Twitter-based news network called “Ochocinco News Network” (OCNN).  He hopes to have other NFL players tweet breaking news to compete with news networks.  Oh Chad, this is as brilliant as my Ochocinco jersey hanging in my closet.

U2 streamed their concert live on YouTube at the Rose Bowl in California Sunday.  FYI.

© 2009 Fox News Channel University.